U

who
who are you
who is this person
looking at me with an acid stare
with your swollen eyes and leaky nose

stop....stop it now
stop the crying....control yourself dammit
control the pain, control the emotions
just get yourself together

put some lipstick on.....
maybe a little loose powder
don't forget the concealer
yes the concealer...to conceal all that lies within
hide it...like yesterday was just a dream
wait....feel your face....today may also be a dream....ummmmm.....u sink further into your despair
no....its not a dream.....its real...and pretending, trying to pretend....makes it even more real
maybe just maybe.....if only maybes could be surely...
magic....no miracles....that's what you need right not

the makeup...yes the makeup....what else can you do
to hide this pain....a new look....
a new person that's the answer.....a haircut....
extensions, braids...something
maybe clothes...something sexy
yes
now you look pretty......now maybe .....u catch yourself
if only maybes were surely
then you would surely be beautiful and pretty enough

still not pretty enough....the tears come back
control yourself dammit, you spent so much time trying to look pretty
more tears, and like rain on a slippery slope....its takes with it the concealer
the covers come off and the circles emerge
stripping bare a once covered exterior
the pain shines through

you wipe your tears with the sleeves of your new dress
damn....now its ruined
and like the sands of time....you are transported back there
back to the mess, back to the inconsolable, back to the beginning

who
who are you
with your swollen eyes
leaky nose and bleeding heart
who is this person staring back
its rude to stare.....except when its you....looking back at yourself....
trying to penetrate the darkness that surrounds this happy place....no once happy place
cos the with the heartache.....happiness resides anywhere but here

me.....i am you
i am the product of loss
a product of pain
i am you

xoxo.......