goodbye 2018

In approximately 12 minutes, 2018 will come to an end
and as I slowly approach the close of another year
I am not sure exactly what to feel

This year has been one of mixed goods
In 2018, I moved to my new home
In 2018 I got numerous new jobs
In 2018, I lost
And for me, my loss was greater than my gain
and I will forever remember 2018 for that

I can't say I look forward to 2019
I have this feeling in my stomach
A sensation of anticipation and anxiety
I remember feeling excited for 2018, and thinking its gonna be a good year
tonight I feel expectant, but not excited

I think about resolutions
about change
about growth
like I always do
but I feel scared to make goals/ resolutions
My one resolution in 2019 if I made one
would be to live...feel, love and hope
Live through it all
through the pain, the joy and the simple times
That's what I intend  to do
Live life in 2019 with the ones I love
come what may

xoxo